Dags å finslipa

Dags å finslipa händerna lite igen tror jag #sjuktsexigt Ja, jag tränar på gym. Haha. Ätit lite kvarg och musli för att kroppen ska ha lite energi innan träningen ikväll. Ah, blir nog att jag kilar dit om en timme. Nu lär det vara galet mycket folk. Favorit i repris ikväll! BICEPS / TRICEPS / RYGG. Stört skönt pass. Sen lite cardio då. Inga konstigheter. 

Stockholm i mitt hjärta

L ÖR DA G :
- started off the day with a delish brekkie. 

- naturhistoriska! so bummed the part about the "human body" was closed though. 

- made such a tasty dinner for me & A before heading into town. yumyuum!

Sunday #funday

Hoppade upp kl 08:00 tog mina meds. Sedan sov till 12.00 typ inte hänt på flera månader , sen pallrade jag mig upp och 920 kcal senare på gymmet & sen städat, gått prommis och handlat. Härlig söndag! 

Sleep like a baby

after 11 hours of sleep, a "rest day" yesterday, which didn't involve much rest at all (but more about that later) I am going to get ready for some cardio & abs at the gym. beautiful weather, even though it's a bit windy. 

I can't be broken

Livet är mitt

Ibland kommer jag på mig själv att jag läser andras sjukdomsbloggar.

Fast min är ju inte en sjukdomsblogg längre, 
den är nog mer en "livet går vidare / jag överlevde / träningsblogg" 

Även om jag inte är sjuk. 
Enligt mig själv är jag precis som alla andra.
Förutom att jag är full med ärr, vissa större än andra.
Tar mediciner, går på kontroller & provtagningar.

Jag är faktiskt helt frisk. 

När kunde jag säga det sist?
Jisses, det måste vara flera år sedan. 

Det hjälper mig på något konstigt sätt att läsa om andras situationer & tankar kring allt.
En av dem är http://emmamariaskoglund.blogspot.se/ . Jag kan inte föreställa mig
det hon går igenom. Eller helt och hållet. Men till en viss del. 

Det är så obeskrivligt läskigt att inte ha någon kontroll på situationen, sin kropp
 ... på livet. 

Jag tänker inte ofta på just döden (eller nu ljög jag, det gör jag visst) 
Men jag tänker på om jag skulle klara av att gå igenom allt detta en gång till. 
Eller ett bakslag, en avstötning, cancer, att sjukdomen kommer tillbaka 
... en till levertransplantation.

Jag är mycket tveksam. 
Men det säger jag nu. Sitter jag i samma sits har jag inte val. 
Det är bara att kämpa, för att få leva.

Samtidigt så hittar jag styrka i mig själv genom att läsa om andras
liv, fighter, mål, sjukdomar m.m. 

Man är så mycket starkare än man tror.
Det märker man inte förrän man verkligen måste kämpa för att leva. 

Alla dessa starka människor med deras starka själar .

Andra: http://jagochminmage.wordpress.com , http://idanolsson.blogg.se/ , http://skrattaridag.blogg.se/


Har inte så värst mycket att klaga på ... LIVET LEKER ! Livet är mitt.

I don't belong here in heaven

TODAY it's 1 year since I got my first drain. My 1st surgery and yet another set-back. A PTC - drain was put in, in my bileducts. It was hell. But at the same time when it was actually working the way it should, I could eat and I wasn't in much pain. But, it was really, really painful when it didn't work and a right pain in the *ss (flushing it, showering, LEAKING etc).  I got it April 24th and I had i removed 6 weeks before transplant. Only because I was getting so many infections, I was in so much pain and it just wasn't working anymore. So from April - September. Wow, that's a long time. 

Of course the surgery didn't work the first time so I started leaking A LOT of blood. So I had two surgeries in less than 24hours. I had to have it removed and put in a new drain once a week. ONCE I went without a hospital visit for 2weeks, but that's the only time that happened for 1 year. 

This makes me sad. Looking back at all the photos. But at the same time it makes me realize how lucky I am, how strong I am, how sick I was, how amazing it is to see where I am today, what's possible and so on. 

"I must be strong and carry on. Because I know. I don't belong here in heaven". 

Food heaven

- strawberries with light/sugarfree icecream

- kebab meat with hot chili sauce, rice & mini mozarella SOOO TASTY. 

Suit up ... gym time

I loove my new gym shoes. So light, nice colour (pink, not orange) and flat. Oh, and yet another pair of tights. Går åt som smör i solsken. I needed another pair that I don't have to pull up all the time on the crosstrainer because that's sooooooo annoying and not very nice lol. 

Yesterday was leg / ass day - cardio! 

Hear the heart beat

Sometimes I wonder if it's more difficult to handle and weird getting a new heart. Because you can hear it beating, feel it and you constantly get reminded about what you've been through. That it's not yours. Well, it is now, but it used to be beating in another body. I can't "feel" my liver doing anything even though it's doing a lot for me. 

Where did you go? I miss you so ...

Skit väder hela dagen. What the hell ... SOOL sol sol vill ha sol. Som typ alla andra. Men ändå. Energy boost. Verkar bli Stockholm i helgen. Nice price I say! Vi ska vara kulturella jag & A. Mja. Duktigt I say. 

Var och tränade några timmar imorse. Har sån sjuk mjölksyra i mina ben, men bara och köra hårt. Bränner fint vill jag lova! Imorgon är det ben. De har fått "vila" några dagar men nu jevlar. Mosa. 

Before and now back attack

So not easy taking a good back photo. Left January - right beginning of April
I'm so stoked that the annoying back fat is going away! 

From fat to fit

It took a lot of courage and motivation to post these photos. I've been debating with myself if I should do it or not ... but here goes. Wanted to show you guys a bit of my transformation. 

beg. of January vs. end of March (So I've lost a bit more weight since that picture) 

In the "before" picture, I felt huuuuge and so swollen. I did not feel good about myself at all and I well I just felt fat. It makes me feel a bit sick just looking at it. But most of all it makes me realize why I was feeling that way. If you compare the two even I can see a big difference. 

Since the middle of March I've lost -6kg and still building muscles so basicly only fat. I kind of get blind of my own progress so I've decided to keep track by taking photos and weigh myself once a week. 

I keep surprising myself everyday with how much energy I've got, what I can accomplish and how strong I am not just physically but mentally too. 

One of the reasons I gained weight after transplant is because I started eating again, I wasn't able to eat for over a year. And the high dose of steroids. Working out when on a high dose of steroids/prednisone is not a good idea. It makes you even more swollen. 

I eat clean, low fat, but I still have the odd treat here and there. But I try not too. Mostly because my UC doesn't like me eating sugar. So I really should stop it all together. And that is my goal this week. To stop completely. I know I can do it if I put my mind and energy to it. 

- MY GOAL is to loose another 9kg at least, get fit and strong NOT skinny. 

Anna Hultgren and her transformation is pretty darn amazing. One day I will look like her. She has, in my mind the perfect body  http://annahultgren.myshowroom.se/ . 

I AM NOT GOING TO SAY IT IS EASY ... Because it is not. IT'S F**KING HARD WORK.
I probably spend 15-16h / week working out. But since I looove it it is not a struggle to get the gym or go out for a long walk. It is hard for me to have rest days. To sit still. Relax. Recover. 

Right now doing well in school, loosing weight and getting fit is the most important thing.  But I will not forget to be happy and have fun. But the first two things makes this all possible. 

Rest day ... boring day

Just relaxing today. Trying to do as little as possible for my body to recover from all the hard work. But oh man it is paying off. - 6 kg so far since like the middle of March. -9 to go (at least for my first goal weight)!

I've sent in another assigment for school. Just one more to go for this first course. Like I said before I am so stoked getting such good results. Makes me want to keep going strong. 

Blue sky & sunshine

- I started today with a yummi brekkie and some school work.
- then I went for a walk with U and Pix. 
- went to the gym 
- and now I need to get ready to head into town. 

It's 22:40 and I just got home to the little pup. Did not feel got at all leaving her alone tonight. Poor little thing. She is never alone during the late evenings. It's time for some lördagsmys and then bed time. I am sooo tired. It's been a very looonglong day! 

Keep calm ...

Had dinner at my parents house, that I made. Yummmm. I l o v e salmon . Then I went to the gym for a little shoulder / arm workout. So sweaty. Just me and the russians lol oh and some eye candy. Where are all the ladies at? A Friday night at the gym is awesome. Almost empty. 

I've been so tired this past week. But I don't have to worry as my tests are looking good. I got really good grades at my last school assigment too which made me cheer up and made me kinda happy. I'm glad things are going well with school. Probably because I've been looking forward to it for soo darn long! 

Stupid tummy & stupid rain

Min mage säger nej till hembakat bröd. Det som är så gott! Nu är det bara finncrisp som funkar. Det får duga. Nyttigast också, så kanske är lika bra. Men grymt tråkigt. Har fortf. min UC som brukar vara under kontroll, men jag kan ha riktigt dåliga dagar. En bråkig mage är aldrig roligt. 

Vaknar till ljuder av regn. Ah, skit kul verkligen ... varken jag eller mini vill bege oss ut. På med regnjackorna och släpa sig ut! Detta gjorde mig inte piggare precis. Hela denna vecka har jag varit seg som en snigel. Även om jag höll igång hela dagen igår. Gym, simning, cykeltur och sen kilade jag över till grannen. 

Passar på att ta det lugnt med Pix, gjort klart en till uppgift till skolan så ska börja på näst sista nu för denna kurs. Hittills har det gått riktigt bra! :) Måste städa sen också. Skönt att få det gjort! Hatar när det är små skitigt och stökigt. Gör mig faktiskt lite stressad. Ikväll blir det ben och konditions träning på gymmet. Kommer se ut som en blöthund när jag kommer dit, men vad spelar det för roll. Finns inget dåligt väder, bara dåliga kläder. 

One of those shitty days

I don't feel like I got anything done today. I felt tired not physically but mentally. I mean, I wake up (after 10h of sleep) and OK I feel alright. The doctors did warn me about this 6months ago. That I can get days or out of the blue just feel exausted. I need to listen to my body and chill out. Sometimes it's just not possible, like when I am out and about. Then I just have to keep on going and instead relax when I come home, go to bed early that day. 

 Then I look outside and come on. Where is the sunshine? I didn't get any school work done today, but I did do one whole assigment yesterday and sent it in. Hopefully I'll get good results on that one too. Just like the others. 

Bloody awful weather. Today I have just been watching some crime shows on my computer, did some baking. Then ... at 4pm I finally got my shit together and got ready to head into town with U. 

I just got out of the shower after packing all my things for tomorrow ... it will be a MUCH better day for sure! Going to bed soon ... I know it's only 21:30 , but by this time both yesterday and Sunday I was sleeping like a little baby. 

Going bananas!

Made some banan pancakes for the first time. Yummi and soo easy to make. 

1 ripe banana 
1 egg 
some cinnamon 
some crushed linseeds

with that I made some fluff (quark & egg white, teaspoon of funlight) 
and some blueberries! yumm 

I'm NOT a quitter!

35min legs, 45 min cardio and 1015 kcal later ... no wonder I was "hungrig som en varg". I made this when I got home. Chicken with ginger & garlic. Yes, I love garlic. Can't believe I almost burnt my brussel sprouts though, yikes! 

I've gone from 45kg to 90kg legpress in less than 2 months. Inte så pjåkigt va. 

ALL MY HOURS AT THE GYM ARE NOT ONLY PAYING OFF WHEN IT COMES TO FITNESS AND LOOSING WEIGHT. 

BUT MY TESTRESULTS ARE LOOKING REALLY GOOD. IT'S ABOUT TIME. I try to stay away from sugar because of my UC and liverresults. Also no caffein (except for tea and pepsi max on weekends).

Oh this makes me so hungry

- ICA basics kvarg är den godaste jag ätit hittills. Bra pris har det varit också, 2 för 18kr! 

- Jag och Anna gjorde hemgjord pizza i torsdags, degen gjorde jag från scratch. 

- Vattenmelon, men ja ge mig sommar då! 

It's 11am and Time for my brekkie. Quark with funlight and some musli. 2 finncrisp with turkey. I badly need to buy some avocados today!  

Tjena biffen

Spain 20120. Haha, "Biffen" is taking a well deserved rest day today. I am exausted.

If it's something I've learnt during the past year is how important it is to listen to your body. So instead I went shopping for hoours before lunch with A. Then I've done some baking and washing. Now I am going to watch an episode of Criminal Minds. 

Recept på dagens bakning

Bakade bröd idag, eget recept. Här har ni ... 

1½dl vatten
1½ dl mjöl (laktosfri)
1 pkt jäst 
½ tsk salt
½ dl flytande margarin
2 msk flytande honung
1dl krossade linfrön
1dl tranbär
1dl russin
1½ dl fiberhavregryn 
ca 7dl mjöl (5dl rågmjöl, 2dl vanligt - eller grahams) 

mixa vatten & mjölk, värm. ha i vätskan i bunken över jästen. rör om. ha i det torra. kör i maskin 5 minuter. låt jäsa 1h i bunke sen 40 min på plåt. 

Great Saturday night

I spent my Saturday night at the gym.  "Det finns inget dåligt väder, bara dåliga kläder" . 
Felt like I was wearing a fat-suit biking to the gym, so many layers and rainclothes. But I had the best workout to this day. 1h15min biceps/shoulders/triceps and 45min cardio. 

Before I went to the gym I made my tasty feta/garlic meatballs

Piece of cake to make :

mix 500 g minced meat with ... 1 whole egg / 1 egg white, a lot of fresh garlic, salt & peppar.

 Chop up feta cheese into small cubes. Mold a meatball and make a hole in the middle for 1 or 2 cheese cubes, depending on sixe & then mold the meatball around it. Put them in the frying pan before the oven (if u decide to use the oven like I do) . Delish! 

Fresh flowers

I don't have fresh flowers at home very often, but they look so lovely!

 I should make it a habit of bying fresh flowers. Well, at least as a treat for good results! 

Friday is my second ...

You can guess what the first word is ... haha. 

- my favorite pair of jeans are too big around the waist. Tight around the ass though. 

- made a healthy early - dinner for my parents. 

- I looove leg day. "Crushed" my legs, PB on all leg drills. Oh and som triceps. Man it burns.  

Boo yaaaa

Having my bloodtests taken every other week now. Booo yaaa!
So didn't go to the hospital this week. Which felt weird since I've been there every Monday or so since October. 

But I wonder when I can go every month or every other month. I am guessing my testresults have to be a bit more steady until that can happen. 

Strawberries!

This morning I was in school for a couple of hours. Then I rushed home. Ate this yummi breakfast at 12.00 I looove intermittentfastning. My cup of tea.  Then I went swimming with Ulrica , which was great! After that I did some grocery shopping at Maxi, picked up my mum and now I am finally home. 

Even though I've been busy all day I still have a lot of energy. Think I might go for a long walk later tonight. Working out so much and staying busy gives me so much energy!! 

Best of all ... I sleep great .. all night long!! You might remember how much trouble I had sleeping after my transplant. Well, that's completely gone now. 

No gym today since I went swimming, even though I really want to. Oh well. PW it is. 

I've lost -2kg the past week. Well, better than nothing! I am happy. But still, I know I can do better.  Slow but steady weightloss. 

I love days like these, keep them coming!

TODAY: 

- gym 08.00 - 09.30 am (shoulders, abs, tri/biceps) 
- 40 min PW with Pix
- studying for hoooours (finished ex. 2 and ½ 3 go me!)
- cleaned my apartment
- laundry
- short bike ride with A 

I think I can chill and take it easy now. Wouldn't you agree? Tonight I can and I will stay up late. Well ... I already am as I fell asleep at around 9pm yesterday and it's now 9.30pm.

Going to eat a treat (even though I am way past the time I am allowed to eat but what the hell. Harldy ate any dinner so) . 

Good Night Ya'll.  

6 MONTHS

Today it's 6 MONTHS since my liver transplant and I feel better than I have in years! 

Food for a fighter

I get hungry just looking att all my "food pics".

- Made some lemon chicken the other day with a looot of garlic and some basil. 

- Salmon, asparagus, brocolli and low fat lactose free feta cheese. 

- Saturday post workout meal 1 egg 1 eggwhite, carrotts and chicken. 

- Saturday night I was craving swedish Kebab so I made some myself. A healthier way. Even better! 

- My last meal tonight at 20.00 is going to be lactose free quark, low fat yoghurt with funlight & sugar free musli. So yummi. 

NOW I am off to the gym ... have a lovely day ya'll!